6 December, 2021

What To Do When Your Boyfriend Won’t Propose

should I leave him if he won’t propose? Why won’t my boyfriend propose? What to do if he doesn’t propose yet!

Surely you have been with that guy and have done your best possible to show him that you really love him and that he is the one you want to spend your life with and yet he does not in any way give signs that he wants to marry you! This is truly heart breaking especially when he had shown interest that he loved you and would want you both to be in relationship.

What then has gone wrong that he doesn’t seem to be enthusiastic in you anymore? Why is his interest cooling off now you both have come this far? Does he have a lover other than you and doesn’t want to tell you? Has he found you not interesting and unfit anymore for his personality? What should you do if he doesn’t propose yet?

You see,there are different kinds of relationship. We have casual relationship,intimate relationship,sexual relationship and committed or open relationship. As relationship coach,I have always advised my clients to first define or name their relationship with their partners so as to know their expectation from it at the end of the day! It is wrong to expect or compel your partner to follow your thought and give you your desired goal in your relationship if you both have not first discussed the area or areas the relationship should lead you to.

If for instance you and your partner have agreed that you want to be in relationship that would lead to marriage and he or she does not give any serious commitment in it,then you are in a wrong or false relationship!

Moreover,if you and your partner never agreed to be in a serious or committed relationship and you expect him to propose to you just because the relationship has lasted for years and you both have had sexual intercourse and enjoyed romantic feelings many times with each,you are very wrong!

Should I Leave Him If He Doesn’t propose?

Well,this question is for those who are in a committed or serious relationship. Those who from the beginning have agreed to be in relationship that should lead to marriage in view. Yes,if your partner does not give commitment in your relationship or make you feel he is still there for you,tell yourself there is problem. In this case,leaving the relationship is not an answer or solution to the problem. Call him or her for a discussion and find out why he or she is acting the way he or she does. The answer you get will tell you if you should end the relationship or not. End it if the action is intentional and based on ”not interested’ anymore!

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose?

If there is any reason why you are in a relationship with a man for months or years and he hasn’t or won’t propose,it is because of the following reasons:

  • One,he is not really onto you and does not have any spiritual or emotional connection with you yet. Until you and your partner are able to share emotional and mental intercourse,there cannot be marriage alliance for both of you.



  • Lack of commitment. Every man wants to commit to a woman he loves not just because he wants to prove his claim that he loves such a woman but because he wants to prove he is capable and man enough to care for the needs of his woman. Men have ego and it is through commitment that they express and show their worth.

If you are in relationship with a man and he hasn’t committed any reasonable thing in the relationship,he may not be willing to propose to you.

If a man feels you lack in this area,it will be a serious challenge for him to propose to you.

  • You have been giving him wifely duty. This is another serious reason why a man would not propose to you. You have already been giving him everything he should have in marriage making him to feel he is not owing you anything. You need to attract a man before he can propose to you and not give him sex,cook and keep his home neat and even cohabit with him. Dear single ladies,allow your man to pay before rendering such services otherwise,he wouldn’t see any reason to propose to you!


  • Family restriction: This is one of the greatest challenges why your boyfriend won’t propose to you no matter how much he loves you. You see,you need to understand that family is everything to someone who attaches much to it. If a man does not get the support of his parent who gave birth to him and can’t fight their opposition to marry,if he finds out that his family is stronger than he is and that he can’t succeed in his fight to have you,my dear sister that boyfriend will never propose!


  • Financial instability: Just as capital is essential to start up business,money is also important for a responsible man who wants to marry. There is no man who has sexual attraction for women who would not want to marry. The only restriction is financial instability. He wants to care and provide comfort for his woman and children. He needs money for it! How could a man who is struggling to feed himself and give himself comfort ask a woman’s hand in marriage? No matter how much the love is,it cannot work!!

Click here to read this: How can I make him to love me?


Remember,relationship is when two people are sexually attracted to each and wish to live each day with each other. The clause is ‘let’s try and see if it will work out for us!’ So if in the process of relationship one finds out that the other is not the right person for oneself,the other should understand and let go. If a man sees you and loves your appearance,that is a half mark. What about other essential qualities hidden in the inside which he must also learn and weigh for his satisfaction?

Relationship is not a do or die affair even if it is one defined to lead to marriage. People do change and desires are dynamic as well. If the love of your life wakes up tomorrow and tells you he is no longer interested in being in relationship with you or doesn’t feel good to continue in it,cry the pain in you out,mourn if you want and shed the tears out! Pick up yourself,for soon you will be fine again!! Yes,you will!!!

I am Monica-May Nnenne Njoku. I am a writer,a TV host and and teacher.

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