We actually believe that apology can restore a failed relationship but there is a kind of failed relationship that apology cannot restore.
A man who loves you for whom you truly are may likely leave you for another woman because of your hurtful attitudes but when you apologize and he sees you are willing to change may come back into relationship with you. That is different from the kind of apology on relationship that we have here.
There are people in unstable relationships who go off today and come back tomorrow and keep doing this until they get into decades in their relationships! Reasons? One is unnecessary apology. When a partner who wrongs the other apologizes,the one wronged can accept his or her partner back because of the love he or she has for the partner. But before long,the same partner who wronged the other would act the same way again and again,and this would make the other partner to crumble. The second reason while partners have unstable relationship which is one of the relationships that fail is because one of the partners in the relationship doesn’t or hasn’t seemed to accept or see the other person to be who he or she truly needs as a marriage mate. At this point,no apology can redeem anything or restore any genuine interest in that relationship.
Let’s come down to the main business of the day. Can apology restore a failed relationship?
You see,there are people,especially men who take a step backward in their relationships for no much reasons clearly known to them except the feeling of uncertainty. At this point, their partners would be wondering whether it is their behavior or attitudes that have sent their boyfriends out of their relationships.
The truth is that,the only likely thing ladies in such relationship tend to do is to tender apology. Then I ask: ”for what?” What are you apologizing for? You are in a relationship with a man who never complained anything about your attitude or about anything you do and he just took a step backward from your relationship and you think begging him to find a place to love you and treat you like a woman would work? No serious or reasonable man would do that!
Listen,relationship does not come automatically. It is built and transited from situationship which is a romantic relationship that is undefined or uncommitted. It is through this process that relationship can be formed when both partners see that they are good enough for each other and that they have what each needs in a life time partner. During this process of trying to find out whether one partner is good for the other,there is every likelihood that one takes a step backward from the relationship. I call this a break for re-examinations!
Apology shouldn’t come in at this time! It cannot restore a failed relationship or anything like it. One is allowed to check one’s needs and scrutinize his or her heart about his or her partner to see if that is whom he or she truly needs. If one finds YES as the answer,he or she would quickly return to his or her partner for a serious relationship. It is ”person will” not ”apology” that can restore this kind of failed relationship.
Click to read more here: Should I Go Back To My Abusive Boyfriend?
Every reasonable man knows what kind of woman he wants in his life. No power of woman can compel a man who knows what he truly wants in a woman to take a woman his heart doesn’t yearn for,for any serious relationship!
Why Apologize When You Are Not Wrong?
This is one question I ask my clients who are battling with a fragile or weak relationship trying to make it work! Look,you cannot not strengthen a weak or fragile relationship to stand strong when the other partner is not involved. Relationship is a commitment of two lovers who share and have common interest together. Until these two persons are in relationship together with the same mind to build and grow their romantic intentions with each other,that relationship cannot work.
A lot of people,men and women have made huge mistakes in relationship by tending an apology to their partners even when it is down on them that they are not at fault. These are people I refer to desperate gullible lovers. Why would you think that acting wrongly like this would make your partner love you when he or she quite knows it is their fault? Maybe you did not know that most times,people who intentionally hurt their partners consistently do so to send a signal that they are no longer interested in being in the relationship with their partners. Can anything redeem or restore this kind of failed relationship? Can apology restore a failed relationship such as this?
If you are in a relationship with the right person,your partner would not wait for you to tender any apology before he or she reconciles with you. If he or she feels hurt over your attitude or behavior,they quickly let you know for easy and quick amendment!
Can Apology Heal Our Wounds?
The answer is Yes and no. Now,remember that we said at the onset that apology can restore relationship that both partners are involved in and are willing to fix issues and make things work for each other. It is this kind of relationship that the offender can tender an apology to his or her partner and everything fixes. Yes,when this happens,the inflicted wounds can be healed and saddened heart can be melted. Broken relationships of this type can be restored!
But if however one of the partners in a relationship is wearing out and becoming uninterested in a relationship apology cannot restore any interest in already dying relationship. The reason is because,the mind and heart of one partner is already out and at somewhere else! No matter what the other person does,he or she alone cannot bring back a partner whose heart is out of the relationship. No,the wound and broken heart cannot be healed. It would only get some scratches the more!!!