So a mother who just celebrated her 50th year marriage anniversary shares with us some tips on how to choose a suitable life partner.
This woman who has lived with a lovely man,a husband for over 50 years now does not feel that marriage is a whole accomplishment but says it could be a fulfillment if these tips are applied.
To her however,marriage is good but there is a whole BUT in it. This she also shares with us in a so long a letter about marriage and singleness she gives to both married and single as her give-away-gift.
She titles it LOVE and MARRIAGE.Enjoy it!!
”As I reflect regurgitatively on the role marital relationship plays, it occurred to me that whether we are married or single, there is a place for all of Us in God’s service. So find your place and remain there. Don’t let anyone pummel you or rush you into a lifelong relationship of unhappiness and emotional torture.
Those that remain single either by Choice or by their lot in life should be encouraged and appreciated. We should be careful with our choice our words. We ought to avoid questions like: “brother when will you marry?” Or “Sister no husband yet?” Please let sleeping dogs lie.
Remember, marriage is not totally connected to happiness, but some times unhappiness. You can be married and still be lonely. It is better to be single and happy than Married and Miserable. Don’t forget that when you embrace fantasy and argue with reality your Life becomes miserable!
However, if you choose to marry you will do well only if you marry the right person. Don’t rush out of your father’s house just because your parents are poor or maybe they do things you don’t like. If you can’t tolerate the short falls and imperfections of your parents and siblings, then you are not yet prepared to tolerate the shortfalls & mediocrity of your spouse for the rest of your LIFE.
When selecting a Life partner, do not look at the body, rather, look at the Mental (IQ), Moral and spiritual engine. The body can be taken to a mechanic or panel-beater for surgery, and with some money you can make her Up to specification. However, a morally disjoint and crooked single person cannot be made straight in a marriage. So avoid “I will change him” mentality. If he/she is not okay for you right now, he won’t be okay even in 10 years time. Please, don’t marry a spiritual looser out of pity or for financial gratification. Those things don’t last and you will soon face the harsh and unbearable realities.
My dear, take note that TRUE LOVE is not an Emotional Roller Coaster ride. TRUE LOVE do not give account of an injury in an invoice. It is devoid of Fantasy, Fallacy and Fiction (FFF).
Above all, TRUE LOVE is not Sacrosanct or trouble free; it has its own Peculiar Challenges. If you have found true love, Congratulations! Hold on to your soulful desire and don’t let it slip off your fragile hands. But if you are yet to find a suitable Person, please don’t give up. Keep on searching prayerfully while improving on your inner qualities and outer skills. God will surely grant you your Heart desire no matter how long you have waited.
Apart from Moral and Spiritual qualities, compatibility or lack of it can make or mar a marriage. Principled courtship provides ample opportunity to get to know each other very well. A moderately long courtship could help to detect irreconcilable differences.
Most importantly, The Bible emphasizes the importance of love in a marriage. Tender affection (Greek, phi·liʹa) is needed in a marriage. Romantic love (eʹros) brings delight, and love for family (stor·geʹ) is vital when children enter the picture. However, it is love based on principle (a·gaʹpe) that ensures the success of a marriage. Concerning this love, the apostle Paul wrote: “Each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband (Ephesians 5:33). Above all, only when you & your partner work hard to “REMAIN IN GOD’S LOVE” can you live happily ever after!”